I went to see “Unplanned” last night. Here are my thoughts.

“Unplanned” is a true story of Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood director, and her journey of escaping the abortion industry. I even read the book the movie was based off of.

Yet the movie still shook me.

The movie is rated R, rightfully so. It doesn’t hide the horrors of abortion. I was weeping as the credits at the end of the movie rolled. I wanted nothing more than to draw near to God after the movie, sobs escaping my throat as I prayed, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry for what we are doing! It is not okay. Put a stop to whatever evil insists that it is okay for us to kill our babies, Your precious creations.”

I woke up this morning feeling sad. I read through some psalms, all praising the Lord, exclaiming joy. I didn’t feel it. I went to church where the message was on joy. I still wasn’t feeling it.

I know God is good in this horror. I know that my true joy comes from God. But I also know that I am justified in my sadness today. Even Jesus wept over the sin of the world. I will not wallow and I will not let my sadness consume me, but for today, I am grieving over and remembering the millions of children who never got to see the light. Who have never been held or snuggled or tickled. Who have been discarded in biohazard bags as waste. While there are families who mourn the loss of a miscarried child, there is an aborted child who is forgotten because she was never wanted.

But I remember.

I will not forget them.

So, today I am sad.

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